You left ten minutes ago but your presence just lingers on to remind me of your absence. We smoked one last cigarette together hoping the cherry wouldn't extinguish but instead decide to live on until time herself had ended & gave way to the change that eventually gets the better of us all in the long run. Our lives tear us apart again this time as they always have-- two different, twisting dirt roads that have no concrete outcome; who knows when we will meet again.

Today we have more than most people but still we are hungry. In another lifetime we were sweethearts maybe; two broken souls who saw so much in one another. The hugs you leave me with won't keep me warm for long; I say that it was fun while it lasted but this is one of those times that it shouldn't be ending really anyway. (Who knows when we will meet again.) We are not a friend of time. Not in this life.

Car is in reverse & i'm trying to memorize your face, eyes so blue, unorganize hair through tears. I tell you what we have is something special & you say nothing. A kiss for so many lost days, three hundred unfinished letters & the caterpillar babies we once knew eachother as so well. Go, before we break apart. Go, before i start trying to stop you all over again, before i come crawling back to the comfort of your arms. A wave & a nod. I leave the windows open secretly hoping you will turn around again, come back to me again but i know the truth.

It's not that you're for me or that i'm for you but only that it should've been that way. Three-car garage, family album & the picture perfect life we envisioned together so many delicate nights, gripping the phone until our knuckles turned as white as death herself as we balanced on our words knowing that one day it would all make sense. That this was something more than we had known before-- immeasurable & raw & cut short. Four days in paradise & tomorrow sleep will bring bad dreams once more. We saw goodbye coming but knew it would be hard anyway, even if it's not forever.

Left now with a sad Frank Sinatra i am alone with my thoughts, tears, sadness. So tired of losing; nothing is permanent in our ugly world. I was the one girl you wanted & the only one you couldn't have. I say it's poetic irony but maybe, it's really just not fair.

Who knows when we will meet again.